MPH booya
I can't remember a time when I've ever felt so damn casual about attending an event, particularly one which could see me win something. I dunno, maybe it was the total lack of belief that anything could be won for me anyway. Or maybe it was because I was too preoccupied thinking about Magic, university, PS2 and university...
So, after 3 days of wasted efforts and 6 hours of frantic writing and equally frantic editing...
I get a consolation prize.
Which, to me, is actually quite......well, while managing to be appropriate, still irks me somewhat. I dunno, I hope I didn't look too unsmiling for the cameras; I certainly tried to smile, but I was just too lazy to fake it. I know I know, a whole lot of people are going to tell me that "well, you WON something, isn't that a great thing?" True that, but the possibilities of what could have been still linger there. Especially considering the slapdash quality of the essay I sent in. I may have bested a lot of entrants to this prize, but the fact remains that somehow, I shouldn't have won.... or, given another chance, I could have done better. Knowing I participated without trying the best I could is such an anguish, if only because of this. It's not like I'm sad; I'm happy. I really am. Just that, well.......it's not the 'jump up and down' sort of happiness.... It' more like the 'that's cool', laid back feeling.
And to make things worse, me and Andrew are level. He got consolation prize too. So, no clear-cut winner between the ex-DJians who participated. Then again, having DJ post (I think) 2 people in the top 8 category of Category B is pretty cool in itself.
Oh well, at least I get my crapwork published. *shrugs*
And speaking of Uni......1 more week. Sigh........
posted by Nicholas @ 4:14 PM
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